nightclubs

ok I once had ever went to the night club. in Bali. (duh. in here? I don't even have the guts.lol) I dance and drink a little.
I don't say I don't like it. I like it. I like the music, the spirit, the energy, the lights, the freedom.
So when people addicted to nightclubs and the life surrounding, I can't blame them or say they're such stupid and reckless and shallow and all, because well, it's actually fun. escaping life and all. but when this all gets dirty, well that's another story.

I know people addicted to nightclubs. boys. real boys. This are their stories. real stories.

1. He's hot. He has FINE body with perfect abs and all. He's funny with a really nice naughty-kid smile, plus, charming. The best thing about him is he's such a friendly guy. He can chit chatting with new person and in seconds, the person can feel like he/she already knew him for a long time. He's humble and funny. A very fun guy. He begun to be addicted to nightclubs post-hi school. at first, he just drinks. now, he goes to nightclubs once a week minimum, get drunk, and "do" the sluts in nightclubs.

2. He's hot. ehem. He's too, has a really nice body, especially the board shoulder part. (yeah, I like observing those kinds of things.lol) He was an athlete, a very achiever one, he won many medals and trophies, even he had to put some of them in the warehouse cause there's no place left to put them. He has a beautiful girlfriend, with a beautiful hair and beeeautiful body.they're going for 3rd year now. He loves her. They're enjoying much times together. And then he begun to go to the nightclubs. He quit the athlete things and never went back. He smokes and drinks. He ever got too drunk and passed out one night in the club. He ever one time had a thought of finding a random hot girl to be his "companion" in the club. Of course, he never tell his girlfriend.

3. He's hot. (when I say "hot" u have to believe me.no kidding.) He's super tall with a masculine body and jaw and muscles. He's cool and kinda a shy guy.in a cute way. His favorite movie are Letters to Juliette, Dear John, those kinds of movies, and his inspirations are Pope John Paul II and Mother Theresa. His favorite quote is taken from the bible. He loves to cook, and planning to be a chef. Sensitive:checked. Religious:checked. etcetcetc:checkedcheckedchecked. From here we can tell that this sensitive guy is irresistible. BUT wait. We're still in the same topic: yes, he's addicted to nightclubs. He bangs sluts. That's pretty much all.

So.at this point. They are all DISAPPOINTMENT. major.
Those guys can be real astonishment and also foolish at the same time. Not just those 3. They're all perfect image of guys nowadays.
I never thought that there are such asynchronism. This is plain stoopid. just.stoopid. and shame.
It's like they wasted all values they had just for those things only: drinks and sluts.
But yeah, that's the reality. Can't expecting something too much from them, eh? even I had thrown my innocence long time ago. Until,


Those three are in my Mr. R's clique.
Last week he went to the club with them. He told me before he go. And I was with him on the night, right before he enter the club.
I'm not forbidding him to go. I never forbid him for anything, including smoking and drinking and well, slutting. All he should know is that he's free to make his decision and so do I. If he happens to be the man I no longer want to be with, it's his decision and I'll make my decision, too. And he understands this. He understands that I understand smoking could calm him down, and I'm okay if he told me he smoked. He understands that I understand if he drinks and get drunk but I will pick him up if he insist to drive home and I prefer him to not going home rather than drive home. He understands that I won't ever forgive him, like never, if he ever touch any of those sluts.
So when he went to the club, I was afraid. I was worried, but I'm ready to see "how" he nailed it.

The facts that I knew latter:
He just sat down on the club. Holding a glass of berry juice in his hands, pretending it was alcohol so people don't force him to drink, never put his glass down, cause people will mix things up in his glass. When the sluts came he stood up and leave and find another sit. And the next day his friends mocked him for being such a lame person to rejecting some nice "offers" and even asked, "what the hell had you done with your girlfriend so you rejected those?". He smiled. And something that came out from his mouth shut his friends up.
And shut me up at first time I hear those. I smile.


After all the time, I never, ever, believed on something.
When I thought I knew something bad had happened, I always rather to not hear it, pretending to not know it.
But he,
Well he, with his smile, and simple words, he assure me, nothing bad will going to happen. nothing. It's really nothing. not even covered or hidden.
He made me know that believing is actually kinda, well, real.


Can I trust? ...,and then, keep it?
Please?

..to make you feel my love.

~adele

When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
to make you feel my love

when the evening shadows and the stars appear
and there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
to make you feel my love

I know you haven't made your mind up yet
but I would never do you wrong
I've known it
From the moment that we met
no doubt in my mind
where you belong

I'd go hungry
I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
no, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
to make you feel my love

the storms are raging on the rolling sea
and on the highway of regret
though winds of change are blowing wild and free
you ain't seen nothing like me yet

I could make you happy
make your dreams come true
nothing that I wouldn't do
go to the ends of the Earth for you
to make you feel my love.

to make you feel my love.

music travels time

I was on my way picking up my little sister when this song suddenly played on the radio.
And I don't know why it brought back strong memories of, well, things, like hope, and innocence.

Have u ever experience this kind of thing? When listening to music then brought u to the certain time, certain situation, and u feel content, or maybe mellow, but peaceful at the same time?
How you think that u actually knew nothing back then compared to what u know now?

Maybe it was the time
or maybe the click situation
or maybe, just someone that listened to the same song at the same time and situation
and have the same meaning as u have.

memories.

oh and I miss u, fella!:)

"The Call"
Regina Spektor

It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word
And then that word grew louder and louder
'Til it was a battle cry
I'll come back when you call me
No need to say goodbye

Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never been this way before
All you can do is try to know who your friends are
As you head off to the war
Pick a star on the dark horizon and follow the light
You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye
You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye

Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you have to forget
Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
'Til they're before your eyes
You'll come back when they call you
No need to say goodbye
You'll come back when they call you
No need to say goodbye