Monday, September 26, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
.
"is it okay to love someone too much?"
"why not?"
"it will hurt."
"are you afraid of being hurt?"
"are you?"
"no."
"..."
"hey. it's okay."
every human is nobody compared to everybody.
about a week ago i had my first meeting with a man, my lecturer for this semester.
ALL that comes from his mouth is undeniable, all of them are true. according to him. so lets give him a call sir-oh-so-true.
first time he talked, i was quiet impressed by the way he give straight points and rules for the class. funny but sharp. i started to think, hm, this one's cool.
but after he talked and talked and asked and talked, after the end of the class, he gained my fully disrespect.
this sir-oh-so-true keep bluffing about how we wasted our recent time to be educated, how nobody in his class is even close to his standard, and worst, he keep bluffing about how great he is. "I am the third guy in the world to give speech to *?* held by United Nations and blablablahfckhellblah". Hey if you wanna play that way i also can say that i am the first girl to give roses to my mom on V's or the first girl to criticize your awful way of thoughts. afterall, he ended giving impression like "i am the greatest u better commit suicide it's impossible to be like me".
so this is what i'll say to you,sir.
reality is, NOT EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE YOU.
u good in this, u good on that, but "this" and "that" isn't "everything".
I didn't give speech for UN, I didn't got invited to international colleges, but now i'm asking you, can you make fried noodles as good as my mom's made? can you sing as mesmerizing as celine dion? can you dance as sexy as taeyang? can you love as sweet as my boyfriend? heh? with all my confident, i can say I BET YOU CANT.
so what makes you the greatest, then? what makes u feel that u'rethe boss the God?
compared to people, u are nobody.
every human is nobody compared to everybody.
people have different goals, different dreams. ok u achieved yours, and then so what?
that doesn't make u better than those florist, those artist, those chefs, they're achieving their dreams, what's so different with you?
if u're happy with ur life, good then, may God bless you, and that's it.
be humble.
u are not the judge here.
every human is nobody
compared to everybody.
ALL that comes from his mouth is undeniable, all of them are true. according to him. so lets give him a call sir-oh-so-true.
first time he talked, i was quiet impressed by the way he give straight points and rules for the class. funny but sharp. i started to think, hm, this one's cool.
but after he talked and talked and asked and talked, after the end of the class, he gained my fully disrespect.
this sir-oh-so-true keep bluffing about how we wasted our recent time to be educated, how nobody in his class is even close to his standard, and worst, he keep bluffing about how great he is. "I am the third guy in the world to give speech to *?* held by United Nations and blablablahfckhellblah". Hey if you wanna play that way i also can say that i am the first girl to give roses to my mom on V's or the first girl to criticize your awful way of thoughts. afterall, he ended giving impression like "i am the greatest u better commit suicide it's impossible to be like me".
so this is what i'll say to you,sir.
reality is, NOT EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE YOU.
u good in this, u good on that, but "this" and "that" isn't "everything".
I didn't give speech for UN, I didn't got invited to international colleges, but now i'm asking you, can you make fried noodles as good as my mom's made? can you sing as mesmerizing as celine dion? can you dance as sexy as taeyang? can you love as sweet as my boyfriend? heh? with all my confident, i can say I BET YOU CANT.
so what makes you the greatest, then? what makes u feel that u're
compared to people, u are nobody.
every human is nobody compared to everybody.
people have different goals, different dreams. ok u achieved yours, and then so what?
that doesn't make u better than those florist, those artist, those chefs, they're achieving their dreams, what's so different with you?
if u're happy with ur life, good then, may God bless you, and that's it.
be humble.
u are not the judge here.
every human is nobody
compared to everybody.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
nightclubs
ok I once had ever went to the night club. in Bali. (duh. in here? I don't even have the guts.lol) I dance and drink a little.
I don't say I don't like it. I like it. I like the music, the spirit, the energy, the lights, the freedom.
So when people addicted to nightclubs and the life surrounding, I can't blame them or say they're such stupid and reckless and shallow and all, because well, it's actually fun. escaping life and all. but when this all gets dirty, well that's another story.
I know people addicted to nightclubs. boys. real boys. This are their stories. real stories.
1. He's hot. He has FINE body with perfect abs and all. He's funny with a really nice naughty-kid smile, plus, charming. The best thing about him is he's such a friendly guy. He can chit chatting with new person and in seconds, the person can feel like he/she already knew him for a long time. He's humble and funny. A very fun guy. He begun to be addicted to nightclubs post-hi school. at first, he just drinks. now, he goes to nightclubs once a week minimum, get drunk, and "do" the sluts in nightclubs.
2. He's hot. ehem. He's too, has a really nice body, especially the board shoulder part. (yeah, I like observing those kinds of things.lol) He was an athlete, a very achiever one, he won many medals and trophies, even he had to put some of them in the warehouse cause there's no place left to put them. He has a beautiful girlfriend, with a beautiful hair and beeeautiful body.they're going for 3rd year now. He loves her. They're enjoying much times together. And then he begun to go to the nightclubs. He quit the athlete things and never went back. He smokes and drinks. He ever got too drunk and passed out one night in the club. He ever one time had a thought of finding a random hot girl to be his "companion" in the club. Of course, he never tell his girlfriend.
3. He's hot. (when I say "hot" u have to believe me.no kidding.) He's super tall with a masculine body and jaw and muscles. He's cool and kinda a shy guy.in a cute way. His favorite movie are Letters to Juliette, Dear John, those kinds of movies, and his inspirations are Pope John Paul II and Mother Theresa. His favorite quote is taken from the bible. He loves to cook, and planning to be a chef. Sensitive:checked. Religious:checked. etcetcetc:checkedcheckedchecked. From here we can tell that this sensitive guy is irresistible. BUT wait. We're still in the same topic: yes, he's addicted to nightclubs. He bangs sluts. That's pretty much all.
So.at this point. They are all DISAPPOINTMENT. major.
Those guys can be real astonishment and also foolish at the same time. Not just those 3. They're all perfect image of guys nowadays.
I never thought that there are such asynchronism. This is plain stoopid. just.stoopid. and shame.
It's like they wasted all values they had just for those things only: drinks and sluts.
But yeah, that's the reality. Can't expecting something too much from them, eh? even I had thrown my innocence long time ago. Until,
Those three are in my Mr. R's clique.
Last week he went to the club with them. He told me before he go. And I was with him on the night, right before he enter the club.
I'm not forbidding him to go. I never forbid him for anything, including smoking and drinking and well, slutting. All he should know is that he's free to make his decision and so do I. If he happens to be the man I no longer want to be with, it's his decision and I'll make my decision, too. And he understands this. He understands that I understand smoking could calm him down, and I'm okay if he told me he smoked. He understands that I understand if he drinks and get drunk but I will pick him up if he insist to drive home and I prefer him to not going home rather than drive home. He understands that I won't ever forgive him, like never, if he ever touch any of those sluts.
So when he went to the club, I was afraid. I was worried, but I'm ready to see "how" he nailed it.
The facts that I knew latter:
He just sat down on the club. Holding a glass of berry juice in his hands, pretending it was alcohol so people don't force him to drink, never put his glass down, cause people will mix things up in his glass. When the sluts came he stood up and leave and find another sit. And the next day his friends mocked him for being such a lame person to rejecting some nice "offers" and even asked, "what the hell had you done with your girlfriend so you rejected those?". He smiled. And something that came out from his mouth shut his friends up.
And shut me up at first time I hear those. I smile.
After all the time, I never, ever, believed on something.
When I thought I knew something bad had happened, I always rather to not hear it, pretending to not know it.
But he,
Well he, with his smile, and simple words, he assure me, nothing bad will going to happen. nothing. It's really nothing. not even covered or hidden.
He made me know that believing is actually kinda, well, real.
Can I trust? ...,and then, keep it?
Please?
I don't say I don't like it. I like it. I like the music, the spirit, the energy, the lights, the freedom.
So when people addicted to nightclubs and the life surrounding, I can't blame them or say they're such stupid and reckless and shallow and all, because well, it's actually fun. escaping life and all. but when this all gets dirty, well that's another story.
I know people addicted to nightclubs. boys. real boys. This are their stories. real stories.
1. He's hot. He has FINE body with perfect abs and all. He's funny with a really nice naughty-kid smile, plus, charming. The best thing about him is he's such a friendly guy. He can chit chatting with new person and in seconds, the person can feel like he/she already knew him for a long time. He's humble and funny. A very fun guy. He begun to be addicted to nightclubs post-hi school. at first, he just drinks. now, he goes to nightclubs once a week minimum, get drunk, and "do" the sluts in nightclubs.
2. He's hot. ehem. He's too, has a really nice body, especially the board shoulder part. (yeah, I like observing those kinds of things.lol) He was an athlete, a very achiever one, he won many medals and trophies, even he had to put some of them in the warehouse cause there's no place left to put them. He has a beautiful girlfriend, with a beautiful hair and beeeautiful body.they're going for 3rd year now. He loves her. They're enjoying much times together. And then he begun to go to the nightclubs. He quit the athlete things and never went back. He smokes and drinks. He ever got too drunk and passed out one night in the club. He ever one time had a thought of finding a random hot girl to be his "companion" in the club. Of course, he never tell his girlfriend.
3. He's hot. (when I say "hot" u have to believe me.no kidding.) He's super tall with a masculine body and jaw and muscles. He's cool and kinda a shy guy.in a cute way. His favorite movie are Letters to Juliette, Dear John, those kinds of movies, and his inspirations are Pope John Paul II and Mother Theresa. His favorite quote is taken from the bible. He loves to cook, and planning to be a chef. Sensitive:checked. Religious:checked. etcetcetc:checkedcheckedchecked. From here we can tell that this sensitive guy is irresistible. BUT wait. We're still in the same topic: yes, he's addicted to nightclubs. He bangs sluts. That's pretty much all.
So.at this point. They are all DISAPPOINTMENT. major.
Those guys can be real astonishment and also foolish at the same time. Not just those 3. They're all perfect image of guys nowadays.
I never thought that there are such asynchronism. This is plain stoopid. just.stoopid. and shame.
It's like they wasted all values they had just for those things only: drinks and sluts.
But yeah, that's the reality. Can't expecting something too much from them, eh? even I had thrown my innocence long time ago. Until,
Those three are in my Mr. R's clique.
Last week he went to the club with them. He told me before he go. And I was with him on the night, right before he enter the club.
I'm not forbidding him to go. I never forbid him for anything, including smoking and drinking and well, slutting. All he should know is that he's free to make his decision and so do I. If he happens to be the man I no longer want to be with, it's his decision and I'll make my decision, too. And he understands this. He understands that I understand smoking could calm him down, and I'm okay if he told me he smoked. He understands that I understand if he drinks and get drunk but I will pick him up if he insist to drive home and I prefer him to not going home rather than drive home. He understands that I won't ever forgive him, like never, if he ever touch any of those sluts.
So when he went to the club, I was afraid. I was worried, but I'm ready to see "how" he nailed it.
The facts that I knew latter:
He just sat down on the club. Holding a glass of berry juice in his hands, pretending it was alcohol so people don't force him to drink, never put his glass down, cause people will mix things up in his glass. When the sluts came he stood up and leave and find another sit. And the next day his friends mocked him for being such a lame person to rejecting some nice "offers" and even asked, "what the hell had you done with your girlfriend so you rejected those?". He smiled. And something that came out from his mouth shut his friends up.
And shut me up at first time I hear those. I smile.
After all the time, I never, ever, believed on something.
When I thought I knew something bad had happened, I always rather to not hear it, pretending to not know it.
But he,
Well he, with his smile, and simple words, he assure me, nothing bad will going to happen. nothing. It's really nothing. not even covered or hidden.
He made me know that believing is actually kinda, well, real.
Can I trust? ...,and then, keep it?
Please?
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
..to make you feel my love.
~adele
When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
to make you feel my love
when the evening shadows and the stars appear
and there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
to make you feel my love
I know you haven't made your mind up yet
but I would never do you wrong
I've known it
From the moment that we met
no doubt in my mind
where you belong
I'd go hungry
I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
no, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
to make you feel my love
the storms are raging on the rolling sea
and on the highway of regret
though winds of change are blowing wild and free
you ain't seen nothing like me yet
I could make you happy
make your dreams come true
nothing that I wouldn't do
go to the ends of the Earth for you
to make you feel my love.
to make you feel my love.
When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
to make you feel my love
when the evening shadows and the stars appear
and there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
to make you feel my love
I know you haven't made your mind up yet
but I would never do you wrong
I've known it
From the moment that we met
no doubt in my mind
where you belong
I'd go hungry
I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
no, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
to make you feel my love
the storms are raging on the rolling sea
and on the highway of regret
though winds of change are blowing wild and free
you ain't seen nothing like me yet
I could make you happy
make your dreams come true
nothing that I wouldn't do
go to the ends of the Earth for you
to make you feel my love.
to make you feel my love.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
music travels time
I was on my way picking up my little sister when this song suddenly played on the radio.
And I don't know why it brought back strong memories of, well, things, like hope, and innocence.
Have u ever experience this kind of thing? When listening to music then brought u to the certain time, certain situation, and u feel content, or maybe mellow, but peaceful at the same time?
How you think that u actually knew nothing back then compared to what u know now?
Maybe it was the time
or maybe the click situation
or maybe, just someone that listened to the same song at the same time and situation
and have the same meaning as u have.
memories.
oh and I miss u, fella!:)
"The Call"
Regina Spektor
It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word
And then that word grew louder and louder
'Til it was a battle cry
I'll come back when you call me
No need to say goodbye
Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never been this way before
All you can do is try to know who your friends are
As you head off to the war
Pick a star on the dark horizon and follow the light
You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye
You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye
Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you have to forget
Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
'Til they're before your eyes
You'll come back when they call you
No need to say goodbye
You'll come back when they call you
No need to say goodbye
And I don't know why it brought back strong memories of, well, things, like hope, and innocence.
Have u ever experience this kind of thing? When listening to music then brought u to the certain time, certain situation, and u feel content, or maybe mellow, but peaceful at the same time?
How you think that u actually knew nothing back then compared to what u know now?
Maybe it was the time
or maybe the click situation
or maybe, just someone that listened to the same song at the same time and situation
and have the same meaning as u have.
memories.
oh and I miss u, fella!:)
"The Call"
Regina Spektor
It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word
And then that word grew louder and louder
'Til it was a battle cry
I'll come back when you call me
No need to say goodbye
Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never been this way before
All you can do is try to know who your friends are
As you head off to the war
Pick a star on the dark horizon and follow the light
You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye
You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye
Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you have to forget
Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
'Til they're before your eyes
You'll come back when they call you
No need to say goodbye
You'll come back when they call you
No need to say goodbye
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
it's WORTH the wait.it is.
so I just checked out my girl blog, juzijuz, and suddenly remember that I have one of the this thing called blog, too! what a forgetful person I am.ha.ha.
it's 144 days since my last post and things have been happened.
yeah, things.
like the fact that am having a boyfriend now and he's kinda been my crush,since,well years,and the fact that NOW I'm having the time of my life. *yeah, now I'm pretending to be cool and typing such story above without emotions.u don't wanna know my real face I make now.najong.
I'd like to call him Mr.R, since his first name started with R and when people ask "what R stands for?" I can answer it flawlessly, "Mr.Right." asoyyy. Carrie can have her Mr.Big.
I once make him a poem.yeah, a poem. When I read it over again, feels like....,well,surely disgusted looking my own face in the mirror, but seriously, I mostly feel graceful. and blessed. and knowing that he ever prayed the same pray as I did, is, u know, amazing. It's beyond words. even a single heart can't handle it.
so for you guys who's on the wait,, well,wait. wait for it while having a nice cone of strawberry ice cream or while sliding on the slippery wet-rained floor. because I've waited. I've prayed. and I've been heard:)
this is the poem, btw.
it's 144 days since my last post and things have been happened.
yeah, things.
like the fact that am having a boyfriend now and he's kinda been my crush,since,well years,and the fact that NOW I'm having the time of my life. *yeah, now I'm pretending to be cool and typing such story above without emotions.u don't wanna know my real face I make now.najong.
I'd like to call him Mr.R, since his first name started with R and when people ask "what R stands for?" I can answer it flawlessly, "Mr.Right." asoyyy. Carrie can have her Mr.Big.
I once make him a poem.yeah, a poem. When I read it over again, feels like....,well,surely disgusted looking my own face in the mirror, but seriously, I mostly feel graceful. and blessed. and knowing that he ever prayed the same pray as I did, is, u know, amazing. It's beyond words. even a single heart can't handle it.
so for you guys who's on the wait,, well,wait. wait for it while having a nice cone of strawberry ice cream or while sliding on the slippery wet-rained floor. because I've waited. I've prayed. and I've been heard:)
this is the poem, btw.
if love could be chosen myself
I would choose Zac Efron
nobody would be curious on why I fall in love with him.
if love could be chosen myself
I would choose that lousy senior I just met
he doesn't know what's in me, my pasts, and my stories.
if love could be chosen myself
I would choose the naughtiest boy that smoked on the corner of the campus
so naughty, so I don't have to protect him from his nasty friends anymore.
if love could be chosen myself
I would choose my Facebook-chat friend
'cuz if this love finally failed, nothing such precious, let's say a
friendship, will be broken.
if love could be chosen myself
I would choose my handsome ex-boyfriend
I'm sure, he's much more easier for me to tame (muahahahahaaXD).
but 1 thing for sure
if love could be chosen myself
I would NEVER choose you
because you...,
you're no the lousy senior, or that naughty boy, or my Facebook-chat
friend, or my handsome ex, and clearly, not Zac Efron.
because you...,
are you.
you are perfectly out of reach.
but,
I think I don't have any choises, do I?
*made for him.*
I would choose Zac Efron
nobody would be curious on why I fall in love with him.
if love could be chosen myself
I would choose that lousy senior I just met
he doesn't know what's in me, my pasts, and my stories.
if love could be chosen myself
I would choose the naughtiest boy that smoked on the corner of the campus
so naughty, so I don't have to protect him from his nasty friends anymore.
if love could be chosen myself
I would choose my Facebook-chat friend
'cuz if this love finally failed, nothing such precious, let's say a
friendship, will be broken.
if love could be chosen myself
I would choose my handsome ex-boyfriend
I'm sure, he's much more easier for me to tame (muahahahahaaXD).
but 1 thing for sure
if love could be chosen myself
I would NEVER choose you
because you...,
you're no the lousy senior, or that naughty boy, or my Facebook-chat
friend, or my handsome ex, and clearly, not Zac Efron.
because you...,
are you.
you are perfectly out of reach.
but,
I think I don't have any choises, do I?
*made for him.*
Surabaya, 12 November 2009
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
try describing the "Big-L"? try bokeh.
Until this present of time, I found myself living in a world that have a never-ending descriptions about the "Big-L" (honestly, I'm kinda afraid - or awkward - to say the word). L this L that L high L low L blah L blah blah.
And noo one, no one illustration, could take me nearest to the L feeling after bokeh. (what is bokeh?)
And noo one, no one illustration, could take me nearest to the L feeling after bokeh. (what is bokeh?)
feel this.
and here're bokeh I made myself (still working on)
blurry. and beautiful?
long distance. oh. eh, huh?
before u read:
I'M NOT REFERRING THIS POST TO ANYONE. I'M NOT!
(..talking about denials~ lol. better than admitting, though)
so I just finished reading the #nowplaying story by joyce, and I just, well, how to wrap this up: TERTOHOK
first let me say "u go girl" to the author for making such beautiful story. not everyone can introduce "the life" through words, so, u should go for the show, betch!:)
honestly, I found the relationship in this story is too strong to be true. They're separated, they're torn, fall deep, struggling, but finally still end up holding what they believed in.
I once fall deep like Karin in this story. just like IN this story. I say it one more time: JUST like IN the story.
But then time past, distance washed it sure slowly. And now, less than 2 years, I barely feel anything.
I don't know how wrong it is, or actually, how right it is, but I'm sure back that time, I fell deep. And distance changes like everything. I can't get it how people do it. I just don't. I used to be (that naive), but now, I don't.
Bless u people who past it well done. *cheers
Oh, and congrat to Karin & Petra!:)
I'M NOT REFERRING THIS POST TO ANYONE. I'M NOT!
(..talking about denials~ lol. better than admitting, though)
so I just finished reading the #nowplaying story by joyce, and I just, well, how to wrap this up: TERTOHOK
first let me say "u go girl" to the author for making such beautiful story. not everyone can introduce "the life" through words, so, u should go for the show, betch!:)
honestly, I found the relationship in this story is too strong to be true. They're separated, they're torn, fall deep, struggling, but finally still end up holding what they believed in.
I once fall deep like Karin in this story. just like IN this story. I say it one more time: JUST like IN the story.
But then time past, distance washed it sure slowly. And now, less than 2 years, I barely feel anything.
I don't know how wrong it is, or actually, how right it is, but I'm sure back that time, I fell deep. And distance changes like everything. I can't get it how people do it. I just don't. I used to be (that naive), but now, I don't.
Bless u people who past it well done. *cheers
Oh, and congrat to Karin & Petra!:)
Sunday, January 30, 2011
every blogger should at least have one thoughtful post.ha!
This is a thing that I never stop wander about: “LIFE IS AN EFFING LITTLE SURPRISES COMPILATION”.
It’s really funny how life turns around. One month ago u could be friends with someone, later u turn out to hate her – or him, well not refer to specification, lol. It’s not only the situation that changes, but what matters the most is how ur heart changes. At a time u feel like u like someone, u make friends with her – or him – u share stories, u blow eachother’s hairs, etc etc, but them something happened, and at an instant u just hate her – ah, or him – u want to pull her hair off or just put a mop in her mouth.
It’s ...weird. People seems like have an inability to commit to their heart. Heart changes. And what weirder, at a time people seems like sure about their heart. “She? O yeah, she’s nice. She’s my friend.” “I HATE HIM! He needs to grow up.” Things like those, spoken like it fixed, and won’t change later.
There this boy. I used to hate him. Then he’s happened to be my best friend’s boyfriend. Later we’re friends, he broke up, got a crush on him, we’re best friends, then we’re enemies, I hate him again, then he’s back, he’s left, he’s back, and now he’s dead. Haha! ..em, no. We’re friends now. But still, that was a long, long, process. I’m still like, 19. What will I get when I 90?
To think about it, is tiring. At the same time, I excited. I keep wander, what’s next? Where will this life take me? What will my heart bring me? Let’s see.
... fast forward to the surprise.., please?
Friday, January 28, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
boo!
yes, I am, so far succeed to open a blog (again).
since I'm not so good doing anything gradually, lets hope this one will work
so..,
welcome:)
since I'm not so good doing anything gradually, lets hope this one will work
so..,
welcome:)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)