it's WORTH the wait.it is.

so I just checked out my girl blog, juzijuz, and suddenly remember that I have one of the this thing called blog, too! what a forgetful person I am.ha.ha.

it's 144 days since my last post and things have been happened.
yeah, things.
like the fact that am having a boyfriend now and he's kinda been my crush,since,well years,and the fact that NOW I'm having the time of my life. *yeah, now I'm pretending to be cool and typing such story above without emotions.u don't wanna know my real face I make now.najong.

I'd like to call him Mr.R, since his first name started with R and when people ask "what R stands for?" I can answer it flawlessly, "Mr.Right." asoyyy. Carrie can have her Mr.Big.

I once make him a poem.yeah, a poem. When I read it over again, feels like....,well,surely disgusted looking my own face in the mirror, but seriously, I mostly feel graceful. and blessed. and knowing that he ever prayed the same pray as I did, is, u know, amazing. It's beyond words. even a single heart can't handle it.

so for you guys who's on the wait,, well,wait. wait for it while having a nice cone of strawberry ice cream or while sliding on the slippery wet-rained floor. because I've waited. I've prayed. and I've been heard:)


this is the poem, btw.

if love could be chosen myself
I would choose Zac Efron
nobody would be curious on why I fall in love with him.

if love could be chosen myself
I would choose that lousy senior I just met
he doesn't know what's in me, my pasts, and my stories.

if love could be chosen myself
I would choose the naughtiest boy that smoked on the corner of the campus
so naughty, so I don't have to protect him from his nasty friends anymore.

if love could be chosen myself
I would choose my Facebook-chat friend
'cuz if this love finally failed, nothing such precious, let's say a
friendship, will be broken.

if love could be chosen myself
I would choose my handsome ex-boyfriend
I'm sure, he's much more easier for me to tame (muahahahahaaXD).

but 1 thing for sure
if love could be chosen myself
I would NEVER choose you
because you...,
you're no the lousy senior, or that naughty boy, or my Facebook-chat
friend, or my handsome ex, and clearly, not Zac Efron.
because you...,
are you.
you are perfectly out of reach.

but,
I think I don't have any choises, do I?

*made for him.*

Surabaya, 12 November 2009

try describing the "Big-L"? try bokeh.

Until this present of time, I found myself living in a world that have a never-ending descriptions about the "Big-L" (honestly, I'm kinda afraid - or awkward - to say the word). L this L that L high L low L blah L blah blah.

And noo one, no one illustration, could take me nearest to the L feeling after bokeh. (what is bokeh?)

feel this.

and here're bokeh I made myself (still working on)

blurry. and beautiful?

long distance. oh. eh, huh?

before u read:
I'M NOT REFERRING THIS POST TO ANYONE. I'M NOT!
(..talking about denials~ lol. better than admitting, though)

so I just finished reading the #nowplaying story by joyce, and I just, well, how to wrap this up: TERTOHOK
first let me say "u go girl" to the author for making such beautiful story. not everyone can introduce "the life" through words, so, u should go for the show, betch!:)

honestly, I found the relationship in this story is too strong to be true. They're separated, they're torn, fall deep,  struggling, but finally still end up holding what they believed in.
I once fall deep like Karin in this story. just like IN this story. I say it one more time: JUST like IN the story.
But then time past, distance washed it sure slowly. And now, less than 2 years, I barely feel anything.
I don't know how wrong it is, or actually, how right it is, but I'm sure back that time, I fell deep. And distance changes like everything. I can't get it how people do it. I just don't. I used to be (that naive), but now, I don't.

Bless u people who past it well done. *cheers

Oh, and congrat to Karin & Petra!:)

every blogger should at least have one thoughtful post.ha!

This is a thing that I never stop wander about: “LIFE IS AN EFFING LITTLE SURPRISES COMPILATION”.

It’s really funny how life turns around. One month ago u could be friends with someone, later u turn out to hate her – or him, well not refer to specification, lol. It’s not only the situation that changes, but what matters the most is how ur heart changes. At a time u feel like u like someone, u make friends with her – or him – u share stories, u blow eachother’s hairs, etc etc, but them something happened, and at an instant u just hate her – ah, or him – u want to pull her hair off or just put a mop in her mouth.

It’s ...weird. People seems like have an inability to commit to their heart. Heart changes. And what weirder, at a time people seems like sure about their heart. “She? O yeah, she’s nice. She’s my friend.” “I HATE HIM! He needs to grow up.” Things like those, spoken like it fixed, and won’t change later.

There this boy. I used to hate him. Then he’s happened to be my best friend’s boyfriend. Later we’re friends, he broke up, got a crush on him, we’re best friends, then we’re enemies, I hate him again, then he’s back, he’s left, he’s back, and now he’s dead. Haha! ..em, no. We’re friends now. But still, that was a long, long, process. I’m still like, 19. What will I get when I 90?

To think about it, is tiring. At the same time, I excited. I keep wander, what’s next? Where will this life take me? What will my heart bring me?  Let’s see.

                                                                                                       

                                                       ... fast forward to the surprise.., please?

YES.

I'm that obsessed to my iPod.

boo!

yes, I am, so far succeed to open a blog (again).
since I'm not so good doing anything gradually, lets hope this one will work
so..,
welcome:)